Thursday Thought

Live today by the Buddha’s words: “You could search the whole world and never find anyone as deserving of your love as yourself.” –Martha Beck





Join me at this Free Event in Bend, Oregon!

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I am so excited to share this FREE workshop with you.  I’ll be in Bend, OR in a few weeks to talk through how to expand the amount of time you have to get things done – while fully enjoying the life you’ve worked so hard to create. I hope you’ll join me:

How to Achieve More by Doing Less Workshop
Monday, February 22, 2016 at 7:00 pm
Bend Tech Building, Bend, OR
Details: Learn more and register here

Register soon as space is limited!





Tuesday Tip: Let someone see who you really are

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These days, you can have both an actual life AND a life you present to others that’s been optimized for your audience. There can be what really happened, and ALSO what happened as captured on Instagram or Facebook or Snapchat. There’s how you really look, and how you look after you whiten your teeth or crop out that belly fat. There’s how you actually feel after a workout (sore, depleted, out-of-shape?) and what you post about your latest exercise class (OMG! I am so sweaty and inspired after SoulCycle!!)

Although you may not go out of your way to create a complete facade of awesome for your online persona, the lure of wishful thinking is real. Slowly, the filtered colors (lark? lo-fi?) of a funnier, sexier, more intelligently-lived life can take over.

Online, it’s a perception game. But is that game bleeding over into your offline life? What happens when you fib to your coworker about how great your weekend was (why not be consistent with what you posted on Instagram?) when actually, your weekend sucked and you’re feeling pretty depressed and anxious. So what?

You may not want to reveal that you and your significant other had a major fight over the weekend, but if you pretend that you are okay — and you’re not — you’ll probably make the people around you feel worse, too. Research shows that when we accept and let ourselves feel (and even express) what is going on emotionally for us, our overall happiness increases and depression decreases. (Ironically, research shows that people who regularly suppress difficult emotions tend to experience more negative emotions overall.)

A consistent benefit of letting ourselves feel what we feel is that our relationships tend to improve, sometimes dramatically. For example, the less often that people report suppressing their emotions over a two-week period, the better they tend to feel about their relationships over the course of three months. This sort of authenticity predicts the tendency to avoid destructive behavior in intimate relationships. More than that, it predicts greater relationship quality overall.

Why?

Because authenticity creates intimacy. Research shows that people in romantic relationships are most intimate with and most committed to romantic partners who see them as they see themselves; connection and intimacy in our relationships depend on our feelings of being understood. In other words, when our romantic partners see us the way that we see ourselves — which they can only do if we don’t hide our feelings or pretend to be better than we are — our relationships last longer and are more fulfilling.

So this Valentine’s Day, show someone who you really are.

This post is a little tidbit from my latest eCourse: The Science of Finding Your Flow: How to Create Happiness and Maximize Productivity (launching later this Spring) . If you’re invested in bringing more ease and flow into your life this year, you will love this eCourse! And if you pre-order this eCourse now, you’ll get a FREE hardcover copy of my book The Sweet Spot and $50 off! This is a steal, friends. Plus, if you want to, you’ll get to help me test out the content before the launch. Click here to pre-order The Science of Finding Flow eCourse.

Photo by Image Catalog via Flickr





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Upcoming Classes & Events

Thursday, February 11, 2016
90 Days to a New Habit (that Sticks!)
FREE 12 week coaching program -- enroll now!
Monday, February 22, 2016
How to Achieve More by Doing Less Workshop
Bend, OR
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Learning & the Brain
San Francisco, CA

Recent Press

NY Magazine,The Science of Us
Put the Boring Things In Life on Autopilot ...read

Fast Company
How to Achieve More by Doing Less ...read

Everyday Health with Dr. Sanjay Gupta
6 Ways to Be Happy Alone ...read

Success Magazine
The Science of Being Happy ...read

The Dr. Oz Show
Happiness Boosters ...watch

PBS Newshour
What Makes Us Happy? ...watch