Is Your Spouse Enough for You? | Dr. Christine Carter

Is Your Spouse Enough for You?


Free Weekly Happiness Tips!

Get award-winning advice from Dr. Christine Carter delivered to your inbox


"Each Happiness Tip takes less than one minute to read, but they make me think, and they make me happier. I share them all with my clients."~ Kendra Perry, Wellness Coach, Chico, CA

"Fabulous advice that works." ~ Tweet from Dr. Alex Barzvi, Assistant Professor at the NYU School of Medicine, New York City, New York

"Christine Carter is smart, witty and real. And she knows her stuff." ~ Robert, film producer and location scout, Los Angeles, CA

Keep seeing this popup? Make sure you don't have software that's blocking cookies on this domain.

If you find yourself often thinking about whether or not your spouse is really the right person for you, as many married-with-children-types often do, I’ve got bad news: You’re already setting your marriage up for failure.

We tend to believe that our partners are either right for us, or completely wrong; our relationship is either “meant to be,” or it just isn’t; we’re with our soulmate, or we’ve totally “settled.”

This all-or-nothing model of relationships puts us in a Catch-22. We want to know whether we are with the right mate, but the very act of questioning whether he or she is either right or wrong sets us up to expect way too much from them. These crazy-high expectations lead us to believe that if we notice our partner’s flaws or incompatibilities with us, we must be in the “wrong” relationship. That evokes feelings of frustration, disappointment, and resentment—maybe even contempt, which is a real relationship-killer.

These negative feelings aren’t trivial. They are cancers to relationships.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Read this post from my Greater Good blog for four ways to release our unrealistic expectations and the toxic feelings they create in relationships.


Sign up for Christine’s weekly Happiness Tip email...It’s FREE!

  • mm

    i’m interested in reading the blog post that you reference but when i click on the link it doesn’t go anywhere.  hmm….